TABLE OF CONTENTS May 2008

SAC Capital: Freak Story Almost Dead?

After interviewing scads of what we can only assume were tube-top-clad, miniskirted, male employees at monster hedge fund SAC Capital, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has decided it will not champion the cause of a trader there who’s alleging his boss forced him to take female hormones, causing him to wear dresses (which, as we understand it, had the unintended – though not entirely surprising – effect of putting a strain on his marriage) on the grounds that the charges were…well, just too weird. Touche, that last part’s not true. But the bit about the hormones and the dresses is. A bizarre tale about the lengths a fund (may or may not) go to in search of that ever-elusive alpha edge. > read more

Globe Trot: World’s Top Trading Cities

Also (probably) the top trading cities of the universe. Whether you buy into globalization or just want to rule the world, where you trade matters less than what you trade. These days, you don't need to be sitting in a Midtown Manhattan office to short, long or squeeze anything. Scouring the planet and talking to traders from Dubai to Shanghai, we’ve pulled together, for your edification, our second annual ranking of the best trading cities on earth. > read more

Felled by Fuel?

Of course, that is the simple version. But isn’t it curious that a U.K. business airline discloses it’s going under due to skyrocketing fuel costs just as U.S. regulators announce a sweeping, nationwide probe into the energy markets that control the global price of oil? A look at what’s being done, whether it’s already too late and why everybody always wants to blame the speculators. (As one big time oil trader recently told Trader Daily, “When oil prices tanked in the 1980s, they blamed that on us, too.”) > read more

As Kerviel Smirks, SocGen Stammers

What happens when investors boo and you’re left to walk the plank alone? Elementary, just show them a calming slide show. Just like a tranquilizer dart. Eyes glaze over and, pretty soon, everyone forgets about just about everything. Most of the time, anyway. Unfortunately for Societe Generale’s chairman, Daniel Bouton, nothing went right when he found himself facing the angry, rotten-fruit-throwing lynch mob that is the bank’s shareholders. An amusing account of what transpired when he finally found the spleen to go toe-to-toe with them – and, for added bonus, the following story comes with what appears to be a tidy little slideshow of Jerome Kerviel seemingly chortling over newspaper headlines. Kind of weird, but we like it. > read more

Profits Up 60% At Man

Not only did the world’s biggest hedge fund manager again raise the roof, some of its most impressive gains came from AHL, a fund long ago abandoned by its founders after Man initially neglected it, believing it could not go the distance. Ah, the sweet pleasure of being proven wrong... > read more

Cayne Says He’s Sorry

After lots of annoying bridge jokes, pot jokes, Detroit and Nashville jokes and golfing jokes over the past year (some, admittedly, made by us) longtime Bear Stearns leader, ex-trader and bona fide godfather of Wall Street James Cayne apologized to shareholders. (Not to mention took all the flak of past months like a man.) Bear may fade into history as the biggest casualty of the subprime crisis, but you can’t say it didn’t live and die by the sword with panache. Here, the parting remarks of an inspiring, if introspective, man. > read more

How To Get Unlucky

“Losing money was no simple matter. It took months of hard work and careful misplanning. A person misplaced, disorganized, miscalculated, overlooked everything and opened every loophole and just when he thought he had it made, the government gave him a lake, or a forest or an oil field and spoiled everything. But even with such handicaps, he could be relied on to run the most prosperous enterprise into the ground. He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.” – Joseph Heller, Catch 22. What few people realize is that getting unlucky is often just as difficult as going the other way. In this classic, trader-themed story out in today’s Wall Street Journal, here’s how Bear boldly defied the odds. > read more

Bear’s Journey From $130, To $2…To, Uh, $10

And that’s probably where it will end today when stockholders finally vote on the bank’s purchase by JP Morgan after months of infighting, outfighting and more than a few icky paintball matches. But, then again, who really knows? Given all that’s happened over the past 52 weeks – and, more tellingly, in recent months – here’s why its likely traders and investors will be on pins and needles until the bitter end. > read more

Libor (Magically) Ticks Up

Wow, whoever guessed that could happen after one little Wall Street Journal study? Funny how once everyone notices the emperor has no clothes, he somehow instantly gets himself a membership to Laura Ashley. Here, a closer look at the biggest Libor move in more than two weeks. > read more

UBS: All Too Surreal

You know, we thought that security warnings were typically issued for terrorist-plagued nations. But at UBS, they’re now being issued to upper-level bank staffers responsible for wealthy clients in the U.S. (as in, don’t go to the U.S., lest you be body-snatched by the pen-pushing, regulation-mad, tax-hoarding authorities and by the time we find you, there’s nothing left...) What next? > read more

Carbs: Bad For The Belly, Good For The Portfolio?

Think grains were crazy this year? When it comes to trading, it may be time to really start going high-carb – at least according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, which predicts that “changing diets, urbanization, economic growth and expanding populations” will send wheat and corn prices soaring for the long term. More from its report out today. > read more

Knight: HSBC’s Worst Nightmare?

Not content with his paper profits and livid over what he holds to be the utter mismanagement of pay schemes and strategies at the bank, Eric Knight, CEO of fund manager Knight Vinke, is vowing to undertake a long-term battle. Inside the faceoff that promises to become a veritable breeding ground for fresh activist-investor tactics. > read more

Sick Of ‘Paradigm Shift’ Psychobabble? Us, Too.

Better to just know the facts. And these are some goodies: Petroleum shipments from the world's top oil exporters dropped 2.5% last year. During that time, oil prices soared 57%. Those two things used to be mutually exclusive. Now they are happening at the same time. And no one thinks it’s going to stop. Any questions? > read more

Inside The Beari Kari

Sorry, sometimes we just can’t help ourselves with the ritual suicide references. Hey, everyone’s got their tics. Oddly enough, we’ve noticed there’s also someone out there who goes by the name Kari Beari (on Flickr) but we’re assuming that is just a coincidence. Anyhoo, here we present part two of a series by The Wall Street Journal on just what happened behind the closed doors at Bear Stearns during its final days, revealing exactly what we always suspected: It was traders who called the shots on the bank and traders who ultimately decided its fate. Here, how the mighty Bear was felled. > read more

Sender’s Curator Tells All

We’re not sure if being the curator to a hedge fund manager (in this case Adam Sender, founder of Exis Capital Management) makes you some kind of super-awesome market seer. But we figured he probably knows at least a thing or two about his specialty: fine art. A few tips on why, if you haven’t started snapping up collectibles yet like day-old TV dinners, you might want to begin thinking about it. Not just yet. But soon. > read more

Friday Levity: When Spinners Attack

Confidential to hedge fund manager Stuart Sugarman: Shouting “You go girl!” to yourself, in front of others, while on a stationary bike is not, and never will be, macho. We’re not justifying your being beaten up by a broker. We’re just sayin’. Highlights from the weirdest lawsuit to ever roil gymgoers on the Upper East Side. > read more

Double Bubble?

We loved that Double Bubble watermelon bubble gum back in the 1980s. But now when we think of double bubble, we kind of think of oil. As Naked Shorts aptly points out, “Almost 1,500 stories on the theme were published in the last 0.12 seconds…Greenspan added that spikes in world commodity bubble coverage were also partly due to fundamental factors, including a decline in demand for news of natural disasters in Myanmar and China…” Here, a look at how surging petrol prices aren’t the only thing getting out of hand. > read more

Brevan Howard’s $1 Billion Float

Brevan is going THERE. Remember the days when hedge funds didn’t want to go anywhere – let alone public? Whaaat happened? Could this be the end of hedgefundom as we know it? For now, we’ll just have to content ourselves with the fact that the promotional Web site for the district of Mayfair – London’s so-called “hedge fund alley” – still lists nary a fund in its exceedingly threadbare “finance” section, despite the fact there are hundreds of funds over there. Clearly, there is still some modicum of modesty left in this business. Until you all become the next Microsoft Corp., anyway. In any case, here are the details of this latest, greatest unveiling. > read more

Hedgies: Putting The Screws On Russia (With Love)

How a relic from Russia's debt default a decade ago threatens to throw a wrench in the works of the country's economic resurgence by forcing hundreds of companies to boost the interest paid on debt to as much as 16 percent. > read more

TCI: Busting More Chops

As usual, the death grip of the Children's Investment Fund Management cannot be denied – or belied by its wholly innocent name. If you’re a company lucky enough to be protected by your local government against the $10 billion London hedge fund’s ambitious overtures, don’t be so quick to breathe easy: TCI has plenty of other recourse for getting its way… > read more

Carry Trade On High Alert

As the yen falls to a one-month low against the euro today, rising stocks are spurring investors to add to their holdings of higher-yielding assets funded by Japan's currency. A round-up of some favorite bets that are now circulating. > read more

Breaking Of Dollar Peg Nigh?

That buckling sound you’ve been hearing is not just the nauseating grind of our death-giving credit crunch, but also the dollar peg that’s straining against the overheating economies of the Middle East – which are, no doubt, beginning to wonder why they ever linked their currencies to the weak greenback. Now hedge funds and currency traders are wondering too – and they are actively placing their bets. Here, a primer on where they think prices are headed, and why. > read more

Yahoo: Showing Some Legg?

Carl Icahn has managed to throw together a wide cross-section of Wall Street/Harvard/Dallas Mavericks smart-alecks to back him in Operation Yahoo Overhaul. So why does one highflying portfolio manager holding 405,000 Microsoft shares and 64 million shares of Yahoo insist on remaining squarely on the fence? > read more

Rules Of The Chase: Is It All Over?

This has been making the rounds for days, but we hesitated to post it in deference to our more PG-13 readers. We’ve now cleaned up some of the more explicit lyrics so we can present this, a satirical, scrumptious simulacrum of what fired traders and bankers are now going through, having found themselves plagued by the same old nettlesome appetites – only, suddenly, without a job. > read more

Libor War: Not Over By A Long Shot

While the greenback gets flak, London is having has its own problems. For instance, that minor scrape with the London interbank offered rate. Like, why is it that a top bank everyone and their mother knew was exposed to crippling subprime losses was supposedly able to borrow massive amounts of money on the market at lower interest rates than its competitors? No one seems to know for sure, but they do know what it means for Libor: very bahhhd things. > read more

Food Fight: Help The Fat Americans

For months, we’ve rolled our eyes at every “food fight” headline. Every time we’ve excitedly clicked on a story with this heading, we were bitterly disappointed to find there had been no unkind exchange of words, no actual throwing of any food. But today, we resignedly clicked once more to find that, yes, the war has taken a nasty turn. It’s a real row now. But will there be food? Some hucking of rice – even corn? We’re not sure if Condoleezza Rice plays like that, but we suspect her surname isn’t for nothing. In any case, read on for probably the best name-calling spat we’ve seen all year. In this corner, the U.S…In that corner, India. And among the barbs herein, India more or less calling our president dumb and suggesting that the money we spend on liposuction from our voracious overeating would be better spent on, oh, feeding famine victims. Nice burn! > read more

Greenspan: 50% Chance Of US Recession

Clearly still not aware that he’s no longer Fed chief (and, we think, likely won’t be until those pesky newspapers stop printing his every idle utterance) former head-of-Fed Alan Greenspan augurs what he expects will become of the U.S. over the next several months, blasting the predictions of the Pollyannaish-economist hoard. > read more

NYSE Trading Tanks

Just as the news hits today that the London Stock Exchange is sending up distress signals, we hear that trading at the Big Board, likewise, has plummeted to its lowest level since 2001, thanks to alternative venues capturing market its share. More about what’s going on with these erstwhile "pillars" of the global marketplace – and where all the liquidity is heading. > read more

You May Have Already Won $600...

Not sure whether to splurge yet on that Rolex? How about the new invite-only Ferrari Scuderia? Well, have we got a treat for you: With roughly $117 billion of U.S. rebate checks being minted even as we type, America’s dollar-hungry consumer electorate will be receiving anywhere between 52 cents (you’ll recall that Save the Children said in 1987 this was enough to buy a cup of coffee) and several hundred smackers. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and do your part for Uncle Sam. Some people go to war, others buy a condo at The Plaza. We all play a role as God’s own special creatures. Right now, we’re buying Trader Monthly an island at The World in Dubai. Maybe we’ll throw in a yacht, too, if we have a little left over. We just hope we get the full $600. > read more

Introducing The ‘Khaki Letter’

Read it, know it, love it. (As always, Long or Short Capital, we salute you. Go short caution and good judgment, marry us and have all our babies.) > read more

Ex-Trader: Caught On Tape?

A former stock trader charged on Thursday bilked his friends out of $16 million by luring them into largely fictitious investments, according to New York’s district attorney, then allegedly spending the cash instead on luxuries such as a $300,000 Aston Martin, a gold Cartier watch with diamonds and bracelets from Hermès. The ex-trader spent the money so quickly, prosecutors said, he now has only $375 in one bank account and just over $1,000 in a brokerage account. So, guess what he pleaded? > read more

Structured? Forget It. Infrastruture? That’s More Like It.

Morgan Stanley just closed on a $4 billion new infrastructure fund, handily topping its original target of $2.5 billion and proving, once again, that plenty of people have the cash to cough up if the investment is right (as in light on the “structure,” heavy on the “infra”). A detailed piece out today on just how this fund plans to thrust itself into the already packed field of betting on roads, airports and public-works projects on a global scale. > read more

Curse Of The Silver Coins

Traders have long spoken in hushed tones about the silver coin-betting that goes on behind closed doors (including melting the coins to deliver against straight silver futures contracts, which is illegal). Here’s why the U.S. government has decided to take a page from its food-rationing days of World War II and the gasoline-conservation era of the 1970s to impose quotas on yet another precious commodity: 2008 dollar coins known as silver eagles. > read more

No End To Fixed-Income Boo-Boos?

In answer to that oft-asked question, ‘Are there any more monster banks in bed with hedge funds that are still kerfuffling?’ we can now, unfortunately, say yes. Enter Citigroup's soon-to-be infamous Falcon Strategies fund, which has lost more than 75% of its value, triggering a fresh sound and fury that’s already resulting in lawsuits, torrents of investor ire (both retail and from the likes of Wachovia and Fifth Third Bancorp), a wave of broker resignations and no shortage of nettlesome questions as to why a bank would choose to back life-insurance policies with bets of a highly speculative nature. Shocking – or, at this point, just par for the course? > read more

All Oil, All The Time

Why doesn’t the president of the United States of America just DO something, Richard Durbin, the whip-smart Democratic Senator from Illinois wants to know? “It strikes me that this is the right situation for a president to step in,” Mr. Durbin says (referring not to the presidents of Big Oil, but the all-powerful forces of Dubya). “I think the president should be calling you all before his little meeting place, the White House, and talking about what you are doing to the American economy.” Oooh, that sounds like it might work. As consumers and government officials work themselves into a tizzy trying to blame high oil prices on somebody (anybody), one report surfaces today that purports to have the answer: this is clearly the fault of those pesky traders and their wrongheaded bets. Of course. Why didn’t we think of that? > read more

Friday Levity: Rise Of The SuperGeek

What do traders have in common with Tina Fey, who was once on the cover of Geek Monthly magazine? Well, many of them were once geeks who, after no dearth of travails, managed to turn themselves into studs (or swans). And by that we mean the same upper-crust snobs who wouldn’t date them in high school are now begging to eat out of their hands. Behold, we step back to appreciate just how far the august and hallowed geek has truly come. > read more

Still Talking, Still Wrong

The rabble of economists (yes, the same ones that overlooked the $8 trillion housing bubble and, before that, the $10 trillion stock bubble) are back in full force, lowing in dulcet tones that everything is going to be all right: the credit crunch is over, the worst is behind us, the tax rebate checks are in the mail (600 smackeroos, wooo hooo) the dollar will stop falling and the economy will perk up in the second half. Aside from the fact these guys could screw up a rock fight, here’s why you should consider the non-Pollyanna alternative. > read more

Brian Hunter, Comeback Kid?

How the 33-year-old trader blamed for the multibillion-dollar collapse of monster energy hedge fund Amaranth came roaring back in the latest quarter on the same kind of gas bet that proved his catastrophic undoing in 2006. No word yet on whether the kid with the killer cojones made enough to defray the $30 million fine the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission is still trying to squeeze out of him (this, for allegedly manipulating gas prices around the time of Amaranth’s implosion). But we can hook you up with the story of why, this time, Lady Luck decided to give him a much-needed break. > read more

On Being A Billionaire: Membership Has Its Privileges

We always suspected that if you were a billionaire you could call up a major bank and ask it to falsify documents, set up shell companies and destroy financial records for you. We just didn’t think we’d ever see the details of such schemes aired so obligingly and publicly for us. The momentous unsealing of the indictment against two bankers did just that – and we could hardly bear to look. But, then, being of excellent spleen, we managed to get over that. > read more

Yahoo Ambush, A.K.A. HedgiePalooza?

The Yahoos jumping on the bandwagon of billionaire investor Carl Icahn are really starting to pile up – and taking on a decidedly hedgefundlike pallor: In addition to John Paulson’s Paulson & Co. hedge fund, which now ranks as the sixth-largest Yahoo shareholder, Texas oil billionaire T. Boone Pickens is throwing his cowboy hat in the ring. Even the generally unimpressed Daniel Loeb of activist hedge fund Third Point is scooping up more than four million shares. Since no one of any note has been brave enough to start calling the winners and losers yet in the Icahn vs. Yang faceoff, we’ll just have to content ourselves for now with this Who’s Who list of the top hedgie players getting in this game. Who says killers can’t unite for a good cause? > read more

Time For A New Kind Of ‘Surgical Strike’?

Having done such a bang-up job, both logically and tactically, with its pre-emptive maneuvers in the theater of war (insert guffaw here) the U.S. is now considering applying the same tactic to a variety of other applications: like market bubbles. Feast your eyes on the results of a study Fed Reserve chief Ben Bernanke commissioned from a bunch of Princeton scholars that clearly show how even the smartest money sometimes finds itself powerless to stop the onset of investor mania. > read more

Hamptons: Hot Air Release?

Starved for cash amid the credit crunch and concomitant mass firings on Wall Street, the Hamptons may soon be dealing less with Mercedes motorcade issues and more with homeless problems as its denizens feel the pain. Trader Monthly will soon be opening a soup kitchen there, so if you’d like to volunteer (or just sneer at your boss in the line) please leave your name in the comments section below. We will be following up. And now an update on who’s getting crushed – and who’s getting crushed more. > read more

Credit Crisis: Closer To Closing In On A Near-End?

Lo, a brighter crunch picture awaits! Whatever that is. We know it; we feel it…it’s coming. We are not carrying on. You clearly don’t have our keen grasp of the complex, interlocking financial mechanics at work here. When UBS sells $15 billion of mortgage assets to BlackRock and announces job cuts of 5,500 by mid-2009 (as detailed in the following piece) that’s merely the sweet remedying of a gangrenous one-off. This is the rise of the fall. Legends of the rise. It is almost upon us. The definitive (possible) near-ending of the end. You heard it here first. But first, a word from one of our sponsors. > read more

Hedge Fund Regulation: Messier Than Ever

The Financial Times has a crack today at this increasingly complicated subject. What is clear is that there’s no shortage of Nervous Nellies looking to pull the reins on traders, as pension funds and other more conventional types pour cash their into just about anything (their fault, we’d say). But we wonder if all this fussing won’t ultimately keep hedge funds from being able to freely experiment (with the blessings of their investors, of course). And if that happens, wouldn’t it negate the whole point of the thing? > read more

Grave Dancing: Not Always A Bad Thing

Now, why didn’t we think of this? A no-frills, dumpster-diving operation that buys up cruddy mortgages by the dozen for a song from beleaguered lenders – then goes door-to-door to collect the money owed from individual homeowners personally? According to this husband-wife team, it’s easy money. And, in the great scheme of things, it’s for a good cause, too. Kind of. > read more

It Figures

Though it’s still too early for hedge-fund honchos to celebrate, the top winners so far this year seem to be some of the funds that suffered the most excruciating losses in the summer of 2007. An inspiring look at those who have so far managed to bounce back after being torn asunder. > read more

Twenty-Six Toilets Too Many

For those residing in a certain exclusive neighborhood of Greenwich, Connecticut –including one outraged hedge fund trader – this was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back when a certain multimillionaire came to town. > read more

Top Centaurus Trader Heads South Of Border
By Leah McGrath Goodman
What happens when trading for one of the world’s best-performing hedge funds just isn’t enough anymore? You do what Bill Perkins, 39, did: Jump a plane for parts unknown and start taking much bigger, scarier bets. > read more

Sharp Shooters

When the grim reaper of trading comes to take your hedge fund away, do you quit? No, you fight back. How four former employees of Shooter Fund Management, the investment manager that lost 40 percent last year, spat in the eye of fate, starting up their own currency-trading outfit. > read more

Hard Not To Say 'I Told You So…'

Up close and personal with David Tice, the founder of the Prudent Bear Fund and an economic history addict who’s now finding himself well-located as a diehard permabear. After preaching for almost a decade that runaway mortgage lending would eventually blow up, here’s how the short seller is now looking to clean up. > read more

Déjà Vu All Over Again

Leave it to billionaire investor Carl Icahn to leverage a) a threat to gut Yahoo’s board and b) support from the likes of hedge funds Paulson & Co. and Eton Park Capital Management to bring Microsoft back into the game. Read on for more about whether anyone actually thinks this is headed anywhere. And if you’re trading the stock of either Yahoo or Microsoft (or their competitors) today, fasten your seatbelt. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. > read more

World’s Top 100 Hedge Funds

The latest ranking of the very biggest and baddest of the planet’s hedge funds, again proving that once you are huge, chances are you’ll only be getting huger. This year’s all-stars include the fund empires of a number of global banks, with three plunking themselves down in the top 10 – and one in pole position. > read more

TCI Goes 'Full Frontal'

So sayeth the Financial Times, which goes on to note that the white-knuckle battle between one of London’s most unloved hedge funds and a major Japanese electric-power wholesaler has officially begun. As for what The Children’s Investment Fund intends to do with its newly acquired stakes in Nymex and the CME, that is another matter, entirely. > read more

Soros: ‘Acute Phase’ Supposedly Over

Does that mean chances of a recession in the U.S. will now obediently abate? Not so fast, says George Soros, renowned billionaire, hedge funder and free-thinker. In fact, in the following piece, we daresay he hints at the worst being yet to come. Here’s why. > read more

GLG Results ‘Disappointing’ – Soap Still Doing Fine

Not surprisingly, all that dirty business on Wall Street has really helped companies like Unilever sell a lot more soap in the latest quarter (though we always thought soap was more of a lagging indicator, the Dove-purveyor has shown us up, coming out with sales that topped analyst estimates for the first time in six years). Too bad GLG Partners does not peddle Dove soap. The hedge fund – one of the biggest in Europe – was man enough to admit to “disappointing” results in the latest quarter, but could not resist tossing out a few choice remarks about its recently departed kingpin trader, Greg Coffey. > read more

China: Indefatigable Inflation, Then Earthquake

What next, will someone pour sugar into every new Chinese car buyer’s gas tank? As the nation boosted its bank reserves for the fourth time this year to cool inflation, a massive earthquake rocked cities as far away as Bangkok, prompting evacuations of office buildings in Beijing and throughout the land. With phone lines jammed up, little is known about the fallout, but here’s the best of the initial reports we’ve seen trickling in. > read more

Gravy Train: Astoundingly, Still Chugging

Particularly, if you’re a top-notch hedge fund. Read on for the amount of cash investors are expected to fork over this year (last year’s meltdown notwithstanding). And that’s not all: According to Deutsche Bank’s annual Alternative Investment Survey – a tectonic shift is afoot in how investors are weighing which funds will get their cash. Obviously, “risk management” is in (so if you’re a start-up, you need to repeat these two words like they’re going out of style) and “leverage” (officially the loaded gun of modern-day markets) is out. Now, for a word on which emerging markets investors are fancying the most. What’s excluded is even more interesting than what’s included. > read more

If Oil’s A Witch – Burn Her!

Just as word hits today that the Paris-based International Energy Agency, the world’s premier energy monitor, plans to forecast future crude oil supplies as much tighter than even the doomsayers expected (this, in a report due out this November based on its assessment of 400 of the world’s top oil fields) we bring you this bit of much-needed levity. > read more

Icahn: A Yahoo With Conviction

Will renowned billionaire investor Carl Icahn succeed in further building up his 50-million-share grubstake in Yahoo and unseating a part of its board? All we can say is leave it to a trader-type to get done what two Internet giants couldn’t. (The only thing that can stop him now is if he turned out to be that mystery billionaire tied to today’s bank scandal – but what are the chances of that?) Another example of why, when you really want something, it’s best to break with the dainty brinksmanship and just start buying. > read more

Quoth Of Noth – Oil Guy

“Oil supplies surge and the dollar rallies, but never mind about that. Oil sets a new high anyway!” – Phil Flynn, Alaron Energies. (And this quote actually came out before oil shot above $125 a barrel this morning, scoring another record for the fifth straight day.) With yet another sigh of resignation, we go back over the crush of reasons for why ample oil inventories in the U.S. somehow do nothing to cool this interminable running of the bulls. Reasons subject to change, of course, by tomorrow. > read more

Superclass: This Could Be You

History is brimming with tales of how the world’s movers and shakers rise up, over-reach, get reined in and, finally, are supplanted by a new elite. Recent developments in the financial crisis suggest that this could be happening now. How to know enough about yourself – and where you’re headed – to stay out of the way of this immortal freight train. > read more

Jump-Start Your Brain

Controversy has bubbled up over one mainstream magazine’s rigorous analysis of how to keep your brain on full-tilt, whether it be by thinking positive thoughts or employing, uh, more questionable methods. A must-read for traders perpetually searching for that extra edge. (Disclaimer: We don’t advocate one scintilla of this and urge readers to proceed with caution.) > read more

Americans To Bush Admin: Fix Sinking Dollar

Yeah, that one’s coming right up. The starry-eyed “mission-accomplished” guys who couldn’t pull off a half-baked war are now going to prop up our ailing dollar? And monkeys might fly out our collective ham sandwich. But we digress. With all due respect to Henry Paulson, we dare you to even try to rectify this holy horror of a mess. Here, the latest poll of Americans who think maybe someone’s gonna’ throw them a lifeline. (Fat chance.) > read more

GLG: It’s Gonna’ Cost You

All investors have the right to redeem their capital at any time. Provided they want to give up some capital to get some capital. > read more

More Droll Polls – But This One Might Be Useful

It’s obviously polling day at Bloomberg. But some of this is interesting. A look at why close to half of affluent U.S. investors (who bothered to respond to this survey) see the stock market as a buy, with energy as the industry and Asia as the region to be in. > read more

Kim’s Kerfuffle?

How former Merrill Lynch executive Dow Kim ended up delaying the launch of his new hedge fund after financial backing from a handful of major investors – including Credit Suisse – failed to materialize. > read more

Brazil: We’re Hot, You’re Not

These days, Brazil is so confident about its economic standing in the world that its leftist president, Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, joked to an audience of Latin American businesspeople recently that he lectured President Bush on cleaning up the U.S. credit crisis (according to The Wall Street Journal). "Here's the problem, son," Mr. da Silva said he told Bush. "We've had 26 years without growing. And now that we're growing, you come along and complicate things? Settle your crisis!" White House officials said the two had discussed the economy but not exactly in those words… > read more

Meet The $200 Oil Guy

As oil prices hover near $140 a barrel for deliveries slated for 2016 – causing even the hardest-boiled energy traders to balk at what is now being called the steepest short-term oil leap in years – The New York Times boldly unmasks the so-called “green” Goldman analyst who first predicted the $200 handle. And apparently, he’s taking the whole global fame thing in stride. > read more

Buffett’s Smooth New Moves?

Looks like someone has been very busy in the first quarter. Here, we examine which stocks the Oracle of Omaha was snatching up when he wasn’t occupied planning his extravaganza of a shareholder meeting. Among some of his favorite targets: Kraft, Ingersoll-Rand, Wells Fargo and a flotilla of others. > read more

Silence, Scholes Speaketh

Nobel Laureate Myron Scholes, chairman of Platinum Grove Asset Management, says there’s no reason to believe the credit crisis is now entering its denouement. Instead, he suggests a different, slightly more alarming scenario. > read more

Ringgiting The Register

As fuel and food prices spiral ever higher, Malaysian bonds are attracting a record amount of foreign investment from investors such as Franklin Templeton (manager of the $10 billion Templeton Global Bond Fund), Pacific Investment Management and State Street Global Advisors, sending the ringgit to its highest level in a decade. Meanwhile, a different kind of fund with the name Templeton in it is getting hot and heavy for this year’s worst-performing currency. Place your bets. > read more

Curiouser And Curiouser...

Just as the mad din of economists, banks and regulators insisting that the worst of the subprime crisis is over reaches a fever pitch, France's largest bank, the biggest Dutch financial-services company and the world's largest lender to local governments, on cue, post lower first-quarter earnings as their loan losses INCREASE. Is this yet another sign that economists, banks and regulators should only be listened to as a contrarian indicator? Read on and you tell us. > read more

Buffett Sees Green

You asked for it, and here it is: A comprehensive manifesto of the happenstance, shareholder-meeting utterances of Warren Buffett, courtesy of The Wall Street Journal. What’s moving the 77-year-old these days to pull out his wad of sweaty bills and peel off up a couple bil? Anything German, anything tied to the euro and anything with a bit of sterling attached to it. Do we exaggerate? Of course. But that is the gist. What’s most surprising, however, is what Buffett says he is not buying. > read more

ICAP: Markets Returning To Normal

Just as the index of leading economic indicators ticks up in April for the second straight month – marking its first back-to-back gain since October 2006 – the world’s largest broker of transactions between big banks is signaling it sees a ray of hope. > read more

Not Your Father’s BBA

Things are really spicing up over at the once-bone-dry British Bankers’ Association, what with Libor on trial for misbehavior and global banks being taken to task by the London-based trade group for probably encouraging it. Has manipulation now become so rampant that the benchmark interest rate for $62 trillion of credit derivatives and mortgages requires an overhaul? One examination of the key questions – and the likely answers. > read more

Good Thing You Can Always Trust The Government

U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (ex-head of Goldman Sachs) says financial markets are bouncing back from the credit crisis ever so obediently, declaring that “the worst is likely behind us.” (“Likely” clearly being the operative word here.) But we’re not seeing too many rainbows and unicorns yet, what with U.S. retail sales for April, to be released tomorrow, expected to be utterly dismal (since everyone’s slashing their prices to death, which we hear tell has a funny way of eroding earnings). Paulson has been in Washington for awhile now. Read this and you tell us – has he already drank way too much of the Beltway Kool-Aid? > read more

We Are Not Ashamed

OK, this is by no means a lead story. But it’s an interesting twist on your typical U.S. energy-drink ad (for those of you who, like us, think that the best marketing may not imitate art, but certainly imitates life). Plus, it kind of reminded us of how, after a bad trading day, there’s nothing better than to just walk off like nothing ever happened. > read more

Hedgie Power!

How hedge fund investors drove out the founder and CEO of a large real-estate developer who built several of LA’s tallest skyscrapers. Is there is no end to the power of the persuasive and well-capitalized speculator? > read more

Scary – Getting Scarier?

It’s no secret that credit-default swaps are the high-wire act of global markets. (Well, aside from trading natty gas.) But is it possible that these oft-volatile financial instruments could be getting even more dangerous than they’re already known to be? > read more

Tales Of A ‘Hedge Fund Hippie’

Think you know Arpad Busson, 44-year-old financier, chairman of hedge-fund outfit EIM and boyfriend to Hollywood actress Uma Thurman? Think again. True or false: Did he or did he not turn his first profit selling toothpicks door-to-door? Did he date former Charlie’s Angel Farrah Fawcett? Did he masquerade as an Italian prince on the French Rivièra? The answers to all this and much, much more are just a voyeuristic click away. > read more

Countrywide: The Hell Without End?

A California ruling says that directors and officers of Countrywide Financial, who felt a little reluctant about responding to shareholder accusations of insider trading, must now face the music. We’re sure that their initial reservations only stemmed from their being a bit shy. How they’re expected to get over that. > read more

Saatchi Gets In Touch With His Inner Hedgie

After being approached by ad mogul and contemporary art collector Charles Saatchi to become corporate patrons, founders of the Art Trading Fund Chris Carlson and Justin Williams (being self-described “cheeky boys”) wanted something back. Here’s what they got. > read more

Food Fight, Part II: Over Already?

Rice tanked for a fifth straight day, heading for its steepest weekly decline in nearly four years, as the prospect of exports from Pakistan and Japan assuaged concerns that a global food shortage is deepening. Well, that sure was anticlimactic. After all the international screaming and chest-thumping…this is it? > read more

And Now, A Word From The Back Office...

Signaling the rash of job cuts stalking the financial community is beginning to singe even the most devout workers – you know, the ones who got up early, kept their heads down, never fussed, put their backs uncomplainingly to the grind (not to mention refraining from brown-nosing, water-cooler gossip and all office-politicking, and are beginning now to think the better of it) – this open letter from one fallen Bartleby stands as an ominous warning of what happens to those who come to Wall Street with stars in their eyes. > read more

Get Paid Like An NFL Star

What’s wrong with asking for a greater share of the revenue when you’re an indispensible team player? Absolutely nothing. (Why should trading stars be any different than sports stars?) Take a page from the NFL on how to negotiate your paycheck like a winner. > read more

From Panthers To (Financial) Planning

What’s better than a job as professional football player? A job as a professional football player with an off-season side gig as a financial intern. (Apparently.) Why one receiver decided to don a suit two days a week, working his way up from the trading pits of the New York Stock Exchange. > read more

Friday Levity: Speedo Alert!

Nothing says ‘I have nothing to hide – literally,’ like one of these. Sadly, those sporting the codpiece swimwear are often the same freaks who would be best advised to run for the cover of a cabana, lest they frighten the children. So, wearing the Speedo is generally more of an admission of utter self-delusion than anything else. That said, nothing also says summer’s here like a Speedo. Too bad this year there’s a wet towel threatening to complicate things. > read more

TIPS Tip-Off?

Why traders of Treasury Inflation Protected Securities, or TIPS, believe that the bonds are flashing warning signs of a burst in the commodity-driven inflation bubble. > read more

Snap! Saturday Salvo

The blood is still dripping, no doubt, this morning from Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer’s poison pen. On Saturday, he dashed off a dread missive to Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang that ended his hot pursuit of the Internet giant. While we want to point out that this is kind of like the person you aren’t even interested in dating getting all formal about breaking up with you, we imagine it’s not the last Wall Street will be hearing of this unholy union. (Especially since a separate, even unholier union in the form of an ad pact between Yahoo and Google festers on.) Here, the blow-by-blow of what finally sent this deal off the rails, as well as some choice excerpts from Ballmer’s tough-love letter. If any of it helps you trade this thing from the market’s opening lurch, all the better. > read more

Wherefore The Bubble?

When it comes to energy and food prices, economists are increasingly answering with one voice: quite possibly, there is none. What to do when a global market used to blaming inflation on the browbeaten speculator loses rights to its favorite whipping boy? > read more

Goldman: Oil ‘Superspike’ Going To $200

The two things that have always been key circuit-breakers of high oil prices have been a) demand destruction – essentially, when pain at the pump forces consumers reduce their fuel consumption, cooling off prices – and b) a global increase in supply, driven by producers looking to exploit lofty prices that ease as they flood the market with more oil. Guess what? For the first time ever, neither seems to be happening. Which is exactly why oil popped above $120 a barrel yesterday, occasioning the resurfacing of the dire prognostications of one Mr. Arjun N. Murti. Here, his predictions for the turbulent months to come. > read more

UBS: Nothing’s Shocking

C’mon! This is getting ridiculous. You cannot hoard the headlines every day, UBS. Give some other hotshot global institution a chance to take a spectacular fall on a banking banana peel for a change. For those of you who have been taking a bath in Siberia for the past 12 hours, the world’s biggest bank for the wealthy (or at least, we think it still holds this title) is being investigated by U.S. authorities for possibly helping its ultra-rich clients evade taxes. (We’d like to take a moment here to reflect on the ugliness of the word “evade.” Might we suggest, you know, maybe “defer”?) And there’s more. A senior bank employee is now being raked over the coals by the Justice Department this very moment. And names are being named. > read more

NYFR: So Crazy, It Just Might Work?

A broker in the U.S. is reportedly cooking up the next generation Libor: the New York Funding Rate, or NYFR, a Frankenstein that could be unleashed upon the world as soon as today. While we submit that perhaps the U.S. should be a bit more concerned about its widows and orphans getting slammed by the nation’s inflation-indexed savings bond paying out 0% for the first time ever, we digress. The broking firm launching “nyfer” assures us that it isn’t looking to replace Libor, as it reflects very different market fundamentals, but we say why not go for broke? If the pound is pounding the greenback, why shouldn’t we also get grabby with London? And now, for exactly how this very special toggle will work. > read more

Dollar Bottom: Copping A Feel?

So, word on both sides of the pond now is that everybody (except, obviously, those who are short) wants to see the dollar strengthen against, well, anything, at this point. Not because anyone cares much for it per se, but because, as things stand, the world is calibrated to expect certain things from certain currencies and the greenback has been woefully negligent in its duties of late (mea culpa, Persian Gulf). Luckily, it seems to be showing some signs of life, however, rousing itself just long enough yesterday to notch a six-week high against the euro. The interest-rate decisions out from the ECB and B of E today further weigh on the situation, but seem to be doing nothing for the market-watchers who remain largely divided. Here, a collection of their views from the FT. > read more

If You Like ‘The Economist,’ You’ll Love This

In the very wee hours of the morning while trying to escape rounds of grasshoppers – that sweet, mint-green drink perfect for both young girls and dirty old men – more than one of our readers has tearfully confessed to us that they really became traders so they could read “The Economist” all day, every day. Well, apparently, some rappers became rappers to do that, too. Take a listen to this: the soon-to-be cult hip-hop hit that, we swear, actually samples podcasts from the weekly magazine’s writers, extolling their precision and brevity. Safe for work. > read more

Word Problems For Hedgies

Mind-benders? Always great. Mind-benders that entertain with scabrous class ennui? Totally awesome. And we’ve got a mess of them here. (One not-even-cream-of-the-crop example: If a hedge-fund manager makes $900 million and is taxed at a rate of 15 percent, how many factory workers making $32,500 and being taxed at a rate of 25 percent does that make a sucker of? Show your work!) > read more

Stress Test: Treasuries

One word popped into the mind of Charles Comiskey, co-head of Treasury trading at HSBC Securities, as he watched investors seeking a haven from credit-market losses pile into Treasuries in March: ``Ridiculous.'' > read more

Bad Time For Cold Feet

Out of the gate this week, rampant speculation that Bank of America’s deal to buy ailing Countrywide Financial for $4.1 billion could go belly-up wasted no time in hammering away at the companies’ stocks (though the latter much more than the former). B of A’s rep says everything’s on track. But after seeing all we’ve seen, we’re not quite sure we’re yet ready to swallow more Castor oil. A look at the chatter vs. the reality. > read more

‘Emerging’ Vs ‘Frontier’

Investing in one of these markets is now so lucrative, you simply cannot afford to treat it as a mere option anymore. Investing in the other is fraught with tricks, traps and potholes. Plus, like Botox, nobody really knows its long-term effects. But if you know what to look for, you just might make a mint. Let the following be your primer. > read more

He’s So Money

Wall Street’s wave of carnage means that some traders, sadly, are getting canned. It doesn’t help any that a growing reliance on electronic trading systems and technology also has reduced the need for the ever-underappreciated human touch. And yet...and yet...some folks are still getting the gravy. Like this guy, offered take-home of up to $90 million – and not even from a monster hedge fund. > read more

‘Agflation’ As A Weapon

Yeah, just what the commodities market needed – a cyclone in Myanmar. Rice gained for a fifth straight day, as the storm’s floodwaters continued to cut a path of destruction through 5,000 square kilometers of once-bountiful farmland. Now that stockpiles of many commodities have sunk to a record low, we thought we’d put out a blurb from Morgan Stanley (via FT) on what strategies might work best in weathering this near-Biblical plague. > read more

Still Bites: Housing Data

The U.S. index of pending home sales for March likely slid for the second straight month, according to a Bloomberg survey of economists ahead of the report out today from the National Association of Realtors. But one of the reasons given for fewer buyers included “falling prices.” (Last we checked, this was exactly when we felt like buying a house.) Here, a few reasons why many don’t augur a bottom is in yet. > read more

Risk Junkies, Unite!

The Fed decision? So passé. Microsoft-Yahoo? Nothin’ doin’. But the Bank of England today is heralding a new era of overpriced risk in the market relative to its fundamentals. (Feast your eyes on its just-released superexciting semi-annual financial stability report.) Think of it as the unstoppable force against the immovable object. In the summer, the price of risk clocked in at an unsustainable low. These days, it’s just the opposite. For all that, the bank sees both sides, sooner rather than later, swinging back into alignment. But to achieve this, it needs the risk addicts of Europe who breathlessly thronged to the market this time last year (and have since scattered to parts unknown – probably Spain – to wait out the credit crunch) to get their sweet cheeks back to Old Blighty and make some big bets. Here’s the kind of grand scheme it is envisioning. > read more

Berkshire Hathaway’s Greatest Hit (Safe For Work)

Click here for the highlight of the video program kicking off Warren Buffett’s annual shareholder meeting, to which tens of thousands began flocking last Friday (and because of which no hotels within a one-thousand square mile radius of Omaha are available). A very entertaining explanation of the subprime debacle, starring two cheeky British comedians, with helpful explanations of things like “enhanced leverage” and when to buy the rumor and sell the fact – or the other way around – or both, or neither. > read more

UBS Bankers To Take Fresh Hit

The Fed, the European Central Bank and the Swiss National Bank all running into a phone booth late last week and emerging in an awesome show of superhuman strength (announcing a near-50% increase in currency swaps, with the U.S. offering to exchange Treasuries now for securities backed by car loans, credit-card debt, student loans and, oh just trust us here, old mattresses) has not been enough to save the skin of banks like UBS. And when we say the skin of banks, what we really mean is the skins of its traders, bankers and support staff. While Microsoft will surely hog the day’s headlines, this news seems to indicate that the Swiss bank may be about to slash many more thousands of jobs – with one upside it’s already realizing. > read more

It’s Like Cornering A Market – Only Better

Most traders know their best tool (other than their Bloomberg) is their brain. But do you know how to use your noggin as well as your Bloomberg? We bet that you don’t. Not saying you’re not brilliant, killer, but do you keep up with what is known to work when wiring and re-wiring your brain in the ever-slippery market? You have a say in it, you know. An excellent piece from The New York Times about how to manipulate your own synaptic pathways – to your satisfaction. > read more

Africa: Conquering A New Frontier

Why Michael Spencer, founder of inter-dealer broker ICAP, is funneling tens of millions of dollars into a spanking-new hedge fund that aims to profit from frontier markets in Africa and the Middle East…before you do. > read more

Is It OK We Failed, If We Charge You Less?

This is the question failed and struggling hedge funds are increasingly asking their investors as they slash fees in exchange for – hopefully – getting financial backers to stay on board. A lineup of the latest funds offering this unique mea culpa. Interestingly, they are on both sides of the pond. > read more

On Chopping Block: 20,000 Trading Jobs

So says one big-name consultant that’s projecting trading roles in both North America and Western Europe will soon be targeted. That said, new jobs are on the verge of cropping up in some interesting places. Read on for our cheat sheet of the freewheeling, born-to-run trader’s most likely migration pattern over the next three years. > read more

Return Of The Jams

Some traders stick with trading. Others conquer the trading world – then take some time to rock out. Trading honcho Steve Bernstein, who spent 23 years in fixed-income and sales trading at Salomon-cum-Citigroup (in New York and Japan) before leaving in 2005, now co-organizes The Jammys – yep, that monster jamfest/awards ceremony hosted each year in Madison Square Garden. (If you happen to be in NYC tonight, you can snatch your tickets now at jammys.com; the line-up is fresh – as in Doug E. Fresh.) And if you’re really lucky, maybe you’ll manage to snag an invite to Bernstein’s pre-party party, which offers an interesting mash-up for Wall Street folks. Think Pete Sears and Jack Cassidy (from Hot Tuna) G.E. Smith (from Saturday Night Live’s band of yore) and Roger McNamee (yes, that McNamee, from Elevation Partners). And, oh yeah, did we mention the 8-year-old Japanese guitar prodigy that puts Clapton and Osbourne to shame? He’ll be there too. But if you can’t catch him live, do yourself a favor and check him out here. > read more

Wynn: Keeping It Real

Las Vegas casino mogul Steve Wynn may have fumbled when he put his first through that Picasso (no umbrage allowed, Stevie, you know we luv ya) but he certainly gets high marks for telling it like it is...and still taking market dunderheads to the cleaners. Here, Long or Short Capital’s bang-up job of serving as our very own Wynn Babel Fish. > read more

Putting Green Back In Greenback

With the U.K. signaling the worst of the credit crisis perhaps over, the pound has ticked up, knocking back the euro and giving the dollar a boost – and a not insignificant one – despite word out today that several Persian Gulf states may finally follow through on their threats to drop dollar pegs. Is this just another dead-cat bounce? > read more

Hamptons: Our (Paltry) Two Cents

Oh no, Buffy, Moonie, Cookie and Bunky won’t have their cake and eat it too in Sagaponack this year. Initially, we know they will all be sad about the sagging price of their McMansions in the first quarter. But soon enough, we suspect they will be discovering the joys of ATV-racing and shooting rodents off the back porch for supper in West Virginia, and forget all about cavorting in their pink Mercedes on Amagansett’s main drag. For those of you who missed out on the latest stats from the Hamptons, here’s the full, if vaguely maudlin, roundup. > read more

Pssst: Corn Is Good; Especially For Housing

The great and the good need to start doing with corn what George Washington Carver did with peanuts. Carver made peanut milk to nourish the destitute. He mashed peanuts into a viscousy solution that the poor used to paint their houses. (We don’t see the Fed mashing peanuts for anybody. Unless you count the mashing of “peanuts” that need not be mashed.) If the U.S. truly cares about its unwashed masses, it needs to take a page from the peanut genius and get cracking. Thankfully, Long or Short Capital is on the case. They note that people are finally getting the corn message. If we can make sugar out of corn and ethanol out of corn, then why not mortgages? > read more

Great Drake

After a vote of no confidence from its investors – in the form of a flurry of redemptions totaling $1 billion – Drake Management has decided to wind down its $2.5 billion flagship fund. Still, if anyone wants to keep on sending its traders checks, they have an address where you can send them. Their follow-on fund. > read more

Friday Levity: ‘Remember When Banking Was Sexy?...’

Uh...for us, that would be a definitive no. However, Bank of America begs to differ. In this latest promotion, writer, comedian and political satirist Mo Rocco “wants to talk to you about your banking fantasies,” not to mention fielding mobile phone alerts on dates and conducting balance-transfers in bed. (Scarily, we – and they – joke not.) > read more

The Trading Edge: Of Human Capital

How reaching the upper echelon of the hedge-fund industry has far more to do with picking the right people than picking the right stocks. > read more

Quoth Of Noth: Former Finance Minister Of Thailand

``I should just get rid of these dollars before they fall even more.'' – Chalongphob Sussangkarn, Thailand’s ex-fin min (now president of the Thailand Development Research Institute) heard muttering while rushing out of a Madrid hotel to exchange his dollars for clamshells, bottlecaps, anything. (Quote courtesy of Bloomberg.) > read more

Worst-Laid Plans

Saving the bond insurers was the last noble cause of Eliot Spitzer. But like Spitzer, here’s how the plan, at its core, wasn’t all that noble. > read more

Britannica Test

> read more

Performance: Burbank At Bat

Having catapulted himself into the big leagues of the hedge-fund industry, John Burbank remains locked in pursuit of more stellar performance . . . and achieving his real dream. > read more

(Wrathful) Quoth Of Noth: India’s Fin Min

“To put it mildly, [converting food crops to biofuels] is foolish; to put it strongly, it is a crime against humanity.” - P Chidambaram, India’s finance minister, proclaiming from the sidelines of the Asian Development Bank’s annual meeting in Madrid, shortly after proposing a ban on food-related futures trading in India. (Quote courtesy of The Financial Times.) For more on this, click here. > read more

Minneapolis Exchange on Craig's List Posting: Not a Grain of Truth
By Chris Gillick
> read more

Market Makers: Romancing The Stone

For decades, Martin Rapaport has tried to create diamond futures, running afoul of the industry. A study in tenacity. > read more

Wizard Of Winton

David Harding, London’s commodities king, lords over an asset-management empire built on the back of black-box trading. Prepare to go behind the curtain for a glimpse inside his amazing money machine. > read more

Retreats: Rich Harvest

Why, at Kealanani, making the most of your investment means getting your hands a little dirty. > read more

Road Show: Faster, Pussycat

We take the 2009 XF to the streets of Monaco and find out whether it can truly be hailed as the vehicle that will save Jaguar. > read more

Rainmaker: High Flyer

Has your hedge fund hedged in all the right ways? Why you should consider joining the very small market for the world’s largest — and most expensive — private jet. > read more

Geometric Progression

Like clubs designed by quants: Behold the hottest — and squarest — new fairway woods. > read more

Pacific Exchange: Last Hurrah

At some point in every trader’s life — well, most every trader’s life — there comes the time when he faces the loss of youth, loss of freedom, loss of self-centered bliss, and must countenance the prospect of becoming…a father. And if you’re like most men, you might choose to respond to the notion of impending parenthood by…fleeing. > read more

Watch List: Jump To It

These ever-amusing jump-hour watches can distract you from your open positions once every, oh, 60 minutes. > read more

Wheels: Fast(est) Market

The exotic-car arena is chock full of dubious propositions. But there’s only one “world’s fastest,” and that’s the new, revolutionary 256-mph SSC Ultimate Aero. We took it out for a (very) quick spin. Our takeaway. > read more

Almost Famous

We scoured the Trader Monthly “archives" to unearth this celeb-tastic 2007 spin-off — and excerpted just a few of its many timeless insights. > read more

Hedge Funds for Habitat--NYC Build Day

Volunteers from hedge fund and private equity firms traded their briefcases for tool belts. > read more

Liquid Assets

When weathering today’s financial storms, it pays to cover your positions. But there’s a sizable difference between merely staying dry and braving the elements in sartorial splendor. These raincoats are guaranteed to turn heads . . . even when those around you are losing theirs... > read more

Liquidation

Why the revival of these premium brands is helping rye reclaim its status as America’s top whiskey. > read more

The Play: Initial Public Offering

Hear that St. Andrews’s astonishing new Castle Course is the year’s most highly anticipated debut? No? Don’t tell anyone. Good thing you saw this in time. It’s going to be all right. > read more

A Recluse No More

Followers of the hedge fund world have been baffled by The Children's Investment Fund's Chris Hohn for years. He sure is shy for one of the more active of the activist investing set, often called "reclusive" by the British press. One former executive who fell victim to Hohn's corporate nudging has gone so far as to call him "an arrogant and strange loner" in a recent memoir. But alas, Mr. Hohn and his partners can hide no more. > read more

Why Do Today What You Can Put Off Until 2050?
By Michael Martin
> read more

Tombstone: Wall Street Meets Main Street

It seemed like a great idea at the time. The dot-com explosion of the late 1990s was just beginning to percolate, and individual investors were snapping up IPOs as fast as Wall Street could churn them out. A quick – and, in some ways topical – trip down memory lane. > read more

Into the Light
By Chris Gillick
Like many of his hedge fund brethren, Chris Hohn is said to be notoriously reclusive. But the man behind The Children's Investment Fund has been enjoying something of a coming out party of late. > read more

The Taming of the Spigot
By Michael Martin
> read more

Natty Dread
By Michael Martin
> read more

Big Brown, Black Mark
By Chris Gillick
> read more

Venture: Emerging Market

Think Vietnam, and you might not think of luxe resorts and sublime eateries. But winning the hearts and minds of the well-financed traveler is this nation’s new revolution. A primer that will have you booking your next trip before the holidays. > read more

Finality Bites
By Michael Martin
> read more

Flush This

Too many toilets in your idyllic, unicorn-dwelling, champagne-fountained Greenwich, Conn., neighborhood? No to worry, Michael Lewis (of Liar’s Poker fame) is on it. > read more

Not Your Father’s Financial District

We know we just told you yesterday (in Trader Monthly’s cover story on the world’s best trading cities) that London tops New York by one notch. But that was sooo yesterday. Today, we are going to tell you where you need to live, should you ever happen to throw down the gauntlet and head for the city that never sleeps. > read more

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