MONDAY APRIL 21
BOE: Now They’ve Gone And Done It

Fresh from preliminary lab testing, the Bank of England has unleashed a powerful new anti-subprime tool, the Special Liquidity Scheme. Here’s how it works: you bring in your mortgage-backed securities (or, as we understand it, any toxic anything you can find lying around), the bank puts them through a giant meat-grinder, and out comes a pile of shiny-new government bonds. This is for a limited time only, so hurry to your local BOE window with whatever you’ve got. Act now and they’ll also accept old shoes, oil drums, Russian nuclear waste, day-old bagels and the gum you scraped off the bottom of your shoe this morning. Bond supplies are capped at $100 billion, so, just like happy-meal toys, they won’t last. But why let Bernans-baby have all the fun?

April 2008

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